and i looked up. we had an audience...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
