so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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