she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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