I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
