Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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