Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
