The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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