Got a toothbrush?
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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