try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
