new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
