They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
