nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
