I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
BRING THE BAGELS
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
