too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
