I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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