We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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