So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
