I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize