Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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