so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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