One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
