I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
