oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I supernannyed him into submission
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