bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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