I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
