And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize