Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I didn't notice because vodka
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
