I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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