i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my vag is so smooth its legendary
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
it's like iHOP with fire
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
