I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
