is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
