the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize