talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just puked most of my soul out..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
