She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
