It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm too high and old for this...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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