i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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