I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize