Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
