i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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