Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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