Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize