3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize