Is it because I queefed?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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