Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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