I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
