Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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