A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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