who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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