Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
