The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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