evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
