you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
