Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
