Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
