When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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