Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She bit a glass in half.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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