I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You are a genius and a whore.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
